Or as I have just read it in my head “WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?”
Most days I’m not sure I’ve got a clue. Or rather, I know exactly who I am – I’m just me, until I have to describe myself to other people and realise that TODAY I’m this version of me and next week I’m going to be completely different.
This week I’m the mum who has their kids uniform ironed by Wednesday evening for the following week. Next week I’m going to rage against the box society puts us in that ironing is even necessary.
Maybe it would be safer for me to put the word ‘contradiction’ back into all my online descriptions.
I’m not sure if it’s just me (actually, it is me, I’ve always changed my mind every 5 days) or if having babies forces you to wear even more hats. Some of them aren’t compatible and contradict each other. Sometimes you’re forced to wear the one you don’t feel like wearing that day (I’m looking at your serious mature mum hat) and when it’s time to pick another one we go off the deep end to compensate (Going out with friends hat – this one is on you).
I decided to embrace my inner contradiction* quite a while ago, despite it being a hit to the bank balance when I want to dress tomboy for summer and 90s for autumn. I don’t expect you to keep up. I barely can. Hubby has no chance and now just lets me get on with it as long as I still want to watch all our cheesy TV shows. He won’t worry, and neither will I, until I stop screaming with an excitement at a new Apprentice advert. 5 days people. FIVE DAYS!!
So here are just a few things that people will usually learn about me within the first few meetings. Okay, the first meeting usually. At least these nuggets of information never change:
- Jay has just started big school – reception – following my me pulling a face somewhere between why is this happening, he’s only a baby, I miss him, and I have free time again, what am I supposed to do, I can’t even deal with this homework.
- 4 1/2 years ago I brought him into this world by pushing him out on the toilet. He landed right in there and I scooped him out just as hubby walked in. Yes, I knew I was pregnant and very aware I was in labour. I’ll save the science lesson on fatal ejection reflex until later.
- I’m married and we planned the wedding in 21 days.
- I’m a mature student in the last year of my journalism degree.
- I have a health record like the phonebook at the moment and have been gluten-free for 3 months so far. It’s all a work in progress.
And just a few sneaky bits that most people might not know.
- I write romance novels. Either you understand them or you don’t but don’t try and take down my ‘porn’.
- I’m considering doing a masters in teaching after graduation.
- My Starbucks order is Tall Decaf Vanilla Latte.
- Autumn is my spirit animal.
- I can’t remember any of the other ones I had thought of so maybe the fact I have genius ideas in the shower or while doing the dishes then never write them down should be on the list.
This is all part of #Blogtober16 hosted by Hex Mum and hoping this can bump up my word count for this month. Check out her site if you want to get involved or read lots of other wonderful parent bloggers and stay tuned for the rest of the month.
*Just pointing out that this isn’t like multiple personalities, much. We all have lots of inner facets of ourselves, just mine like to change whose driving the bus a lot more regular than most.